The Dating Handbook: Are Relationships Bad Investments?

Comment by Ken

Ken — Mon, 29 Nov 2004 13:33:08 +0000

(I feel like an advice columnist! It's kinda cool.)

It kinda depends on what his expectations are. Does he think you're "dating"? If so, then standard breakup procedures apply. Putting it off will just make it more painful, because the longer you go, the more you will have "invested".

I'd go with something along the lines of "this relationship isn't working for me"... you want something that doesn't put the blame on him, but also doesn't leave any room for argument. I wouldn't say "I'm not feeling the love" because that would imply he could fix the relationship by showing more emotion. The last thing you want is a promise that things will get better, because they almost assuredly will not.

If he is not under the impression that you're "dating", then it's easier; you can keep doing friend-type activities, but then just put the brakes on, any time a romantic situation comes up (like, when he leans in for a kiss or something).

Comment by Crouching Hamster (Guest)

Crouching Hamster (Guest) — Mon, 29 Nov 2004 01:43:25 +0000

OK. I am going to do one of the hardest things I think I've had to do recently - break up with someone - who I was never even dating!

I don't have much invested, but I DON'T want to do it. I'm putting it off. I don't know HOW I'm going to do it. I still really like the guy, but I'm not "feeling the love."

Dating Guy: Any advice?

The Dating Handbook: Are Relationships Bad Investments?

Ken — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 23:31:07 +0000

(Repost of an article from October 19, 2003. This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.) What is it that makes people stay in bad relationships? There seems to be a misconception out there: people think relationships are like investments. But the truth is...