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Outback Fun
Sunday, 2005 April 17 - 9:53 pm
The Outback Steakhouse is the quintessential American restaurant. I mean Australian. I mean American.

I haven't been to the Outback Steakhouse in a while.

For you Ozzies out there, I'm talking about a chain restaurant here in the U.S. that pretends to be Australian. It's mostly a steak place; they have steaks like the "Rockhampton Rib-Eye" and the "Ayers Rock Strip". They've got "Kookaburra Wings" and "Brisbane Caesar Salad". You get the idea.

All the red-blooded American men I know love the Outback. I mean, you can get thick slabs of beef, a giant battered and fried onion, and tall glasses of Foster's lager, all in a relaxed sports-bar-like atmosphere. I have a feeling it's, um, not really an authentic Australian place. It seems like it was made for Americans. By Paul Hogan.

I have to admit, I like the Outback too. Yeah, it's a chain, and yeah, the concept is ridiculous. But it's yummy; and more importantly, I get to do things there that I can't do anywhere else.

For example, I can use my fake Australian accent on the wait staff, and THEY CAN'T TELL IT'S FAKE... because they're just American college kids whose only exposure to Australia is "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin.

Once my friend Gary and I went to the Outback, and after a few pints of Foster's and a big steak dinner, it was time to order dessert. Among the things on the dessert menu are the "Chocolate Thunder From Down Under", a brownie with ice cream and chocolate sauce, and the "Cheesecake Olivia", which is just an ordinary cheesecake except for the fact that it might be named after Olivia Newton-John.

In my best fake Australian accent, I said: "I'll have the Chocolate Thunder From Down Under. Because, that's what they call me."

Gary said, in a falsetto voice: "I'll have the Cheesecake Olivia. Because that's what they call me."

Alas, this bit of comic inspiration drew absolutely no reaction from our waitress.
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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha


Comment #1 from Nicholas (Guest)
2005 Apr 17 - 10:20 pm : #
About the only Australian thing they have is lamb. Everything else is the same old stuff all American restaurants have.

I just got back from Monterrey, Mexico. My babysitter down there wanted to know if I want to go to Chili's, yeah, the same as up here. We ate goat instead, it sort of tasted like lamb.

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