Banner Logo
The Real Kato
About Me
Frozen Lunches
Sweat Pants Mom
Secret Agent Josephine

Most Recent

2019 February
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April

All Categories 


Recent Comments
On College Football 2018: The End
Dan* said:
I canít believe the regular season is over already.

I love your remarks on fandom. Whenever I can, ...
On College Football 2018 Week 11 Preview
Dan* said:
Hey Ken, thank you for the Penn State coverage this year! I tried to comment earlier but the captcha...
On New CBS Show Scorpion Riddled with Errors
e.* said:
also, 7a: disk-based backup targets don't work that way. you don't back up anything to one single so...
On New CBS Show Scorpion Riddled with Errors
Stephen J* said:
Wasn't planning on watching, now definitely won't.

19a: if the whole Ethernet cord to sportscar th...
On College Football 2013: Week 10 Preview
Ken said:
Update: Bryan Underwood is out with an injury. Umm, that's not good.

<< Previous: Oh, Monday Morning | Next: Toilet Innovations >>

The Return of the Conspiracy Dream
Monday, 2005 March 28 - 10:43 pm
I had an interesting conspiracy dream this past Saturday.

As I've mentioned before, I used to have a lot of dreams involving vast conspiracies. They don't come quite so often any more, but I had one on Saturday.

Here's the dream.

For some reason, a lot of people I know subscribe to a certain long-distance phone plan. They're always raving about what a good plan it is. However, the plan involves having a device surgically attached to your ankle. The device is a small orange plastic rectangle, with a serial number imprinted in white. To activate the long distance plan, you call the phone company and tell them your number, and your plan is activated.

I finally decide that I should get this long distance plan, but I'm skeptical about the device. No one else has questioned why this device is necessary. I then realize that I already have the device attached to my ankle, but I can't recall how it got there. So just as I'm talking to the phone company guy and he's asking for my serial number, I hang up the phone.

The orange plastic rectangle is just a cover, as it turns out. I take off the cover and there's a microchip underneath. The microchip has leads that go into my skin. I pull the device out fairly painlessly. Then I realize that there's some magnetic attraction between the chip and the cover, and somehow I know that it means the device is booby-trapped. I toss the device away just as it explodes. The explosion is small, though, and doesn't cause much damage.

I've triggered some sort of chain reaction. The devices on everyone's ankles also start to explode. Thankfully, people are not seriously injured by the explosions.

Then astronomers discover that a distant planet is exploding. The planet is called Foom, and that was also the name of the long-distance company. So apparently, the alien Foomlings were attempting to take over our planet using mind-control devices, and they were suckering us in by promoting cheap long distance. But the chain reaction that I triggered eventually reached their home planet, and blew everything up.

* * *

It took me a while to figure out what triggered this, and then it finally struck me. The evening before I had this dream, I had been talking with my curling team about Easter. They were talking about how their kids still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I almost started to make a point about how adults still believe in some far-fetched things too, but I bit my tongue because I didn't want to offend anyone.

So the long-distance plan in the dream is organized religion. A lot of people have it, a lot of people like it, but I'm skeptical that it's a big mind-control scheme. I believe that if I can just expose the scheme to people, it will self-destruct... and it won't really hurt anyone. We will all be free! Take that, Foomlings!

If only it were that easy.
Permalink  1 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: life


Comment #1 from J (Guest)
2005 Nov 2 - 11:26 am : #
Okay, check this out. I have no idea as to why, but the word foom is something that my sister-in-law and I have been saying for about 2-3 years now. We just say it as a way to joke or to be silly. The funny thing, however, is that I always joked about it being a mind control thing that would one day take over the world. I did a search online just to kill time, and found the "foom foom foom" song, which is just strange??? Anyway, just wanted to share this - I thought it slightly odd. Thanks, J

Comments are closed for this post.

Search This Site
Powered by FreeFind