Real Kato Blog: Unexplained Feelings

I've been feeling weird lately; I don't know really what's going on in my head, and I HATE that.

I've had two strong emotions over the past week or so:

- The feeling that I'm really in love with everyone
- The feeling that I'm full of rage

The trouble is, I can't figure out what's been causing these emotions. I don't think it's that time of the month for me.

The lovey-dovey feeling is a weird one. I'm not in a relationship, so the feeling hasn't been directed at any particular person. It's kind of like I've taken too much Ecstasy or something. If, while I was in the state, someone came along and asked me for a Canon EOS Digital Rebel camera, I'd probably say 'yes'. No one thus far has approached me to take advantage. I think that's a good thing.

Then, the rage sets in. Last night, just before going to bed (and while writing this article), I was positively sputtering with indignant rage. Where did that come from? I'm not really sure. If you had tried to tell me, I'm sure I wouldn't have wanted to hear it.

At one point I had a theory that I feel better on days when I go running, and worse on days where I go binge-eating and binge-drinking. But BEER CANNOT POSSIBLY BE BAD. So that theory was RIGHT OUT.

Probably, I just need a good bonking to smooth out my emotional highs and lows. I don't mean the same kind of pity-bonking that Emma needed when she was constipated and trying to loosen her bowels. What I need is some good old fashioned '69' action.

Well, all right, who am I kidding? I've never been able to do '69' in my whole life. I just couldn't get it to work. It's like trying to wrestle an emu while sitting in the back seat of a Ford Focus. There's all this awkward bending, and there's always the problem of just what do to with that other leg over there. Oh, and of course, there's the issue of SUFFOCATION. For you kiddies out there, don't believe the hype: '69' is not all it's cracked up to be. Maybe that's one of the reasons I'm so full of rage.

Right now I have a third feeling: the desire to lie down and go to sleep.

Oops, now I have one more feeling: the desire to write a tutorial on the difference between "lie" and "lay". I guess that one can wait.

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