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Hey, What's That Smell?
Thursday, 2004 December 2 - 1:28 am
A minor disaster today at the Real Kato House.

When I got home from work today, I noticed an odor. That in itself is not terribly unusual at my house (sometimes known as "The Place Where Squirrels Go To Die"), but in this case, it was an unfamiliar vegetable-y kind of smell. Uh-oh.

I went to the fridge, and there was a big green puddle in front of it. The source of this puddle was a box of now-melted spinach in the freezer door, a door that I had somehow left ajar since last night. Last night!

The spinach itself was no great loss, since it had been in the freezer for several years and I'm fairly certain I was never going to use it. But I was faced with a conundrum: do I throw out the steaks and chicken wings that I've come to regard as more precious than gold, or do I keep them for future eating and take the risk of e. coli and salmonella poisoning? I mean, everything still stayed somewhat chilled, especially the stuff in the back of the freezer. So maybe it's all still okay. That which does not kill me makes me stronger, right?

I ended up throwing out the pita bread, the strawberries, the asparagus, and the peas. (The peas turned out to be the main source of the odor.) I kept the steak, the chicken wings, the shrimp, and the bacon... in other words, all the foods most likely to give me serious health-endangering parasites. When the time comes, I'll just use the ol' sniff test to see if they're still edible, and then after eating, I'll drink a bunch of liquor to kill off the germs. That's how we do things here in North Carolina.
Permalink  4 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: life

Comments

Comment #1 from Javi (Guest)
2004 Dec 2 - 2:54 pm : #
noodles - you are righteous man who was clearly brought up right. never throw out the steak - NEVER! (it's like frederic forrest in "apocalypse now" - never get off the boat!)

i had a stench issue in my old bachelor apartment once - let's just say my brother had been staying with me, and - before leaving - something horrible happened in the downstairs guest bathroom. something i couldn't describe without going back to therapy...

END OF PART ONE
Comment #2 from Javi (Guest)
2004 Dec 2 - 2:55 pm : #
being the stand-up guy that he is, my brother simply let himself out and went back to his home while i was at work. i got back from work, and wouldn't you know it, on that exact same day, a comely young lady was moving into the aparmtnent next door and she asked me if she could see my place, just to see how it differed from hers - but before this could all turn into something out of the penthouse forum, i opened the door to my apartment -

END OF PART TWO
Comment #3 from Javi (Guest)
2004 Dec 2 - 2:59 pm : #
- and we were both subjected to a cloud of stench that irritated mucus membrames, burnt corneas, and caused the skin to blister. she ran screaming.

i had to run to a local purveyor of hazmat suits, drano, and plungers...

...i never saw her again, but strangely, i still talk to my brother.

don't ask me why.
Comment #4 from Ken (realkato)
2004 Dec 3 - 12:11 am : #
Though your story has done little to whet my appetite for steak, I still enjoyed it.

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