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Why Do They Need Gin?
Friday, 2005 March 4 - 12:33 am
Teaching the youth of America how to drink.

Las Vegas mayor Oscar Goodman told a group of fourth-graders Thursday that if he were stranded on a deserted island, he would want a bottle of gin.

I love it.

Later, asked by reporters if he had a drinking problem, he replied, "Oh, absolutely not. I love to drink." Hee hee! But if I were scripting it, I might have expanded his line to: "Drinking problem? No, I have no problem drinking; I'm actually very good at it."

Here are more quotes for the classroom wall:

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
-- Dean Martin; also attributed to Frank Sinatra

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
-- Origin unknown

Tully: "Why don't you stop drinking? Anybody can be a drunk."
Henry: "Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important than truth."
-- "Barfly", 1987, with Mickey Rourke as Henry and Alice Krige as Tully

"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly."
-- Winston Churchill

"The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk, they are sober."
-- W.B. Yeats

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
-- Henny Youngman

"To alcohol: the cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems."
-- Homer Simpson
Permalink  2 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha

Comments

Comment #1 from MonoCerdo (Guest)
2005 Mar 4 - 1:38 pm : #
Ha! Two of my other favorite beer quotes:

"Beer...Now there's a temporary solution."
-Homer J.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Benjamin Franklin
Comment #2 from Tim (Guest)
2005 Mar 5 - 4:08 pm : #
Some more:

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
-Dave Barry

"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
-David Daye

"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
-Homer Simpson

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