Real Kato Blog: Choking on Cheetos

... and other euphemisms that don't quite work.

On the way to work, I drove by an apartment complex where two girls were waving at passers-by. They were wearing yellow bikinis and those reflective vests that construction workers wear. My first thought was that they were involved with some reality TV show to see how many accidents they could cause, as drivers ogled them on their way by. But they were probably just promoting apartment rentals. I don't know why they had the construction vests, though; that seemed a little Village-People-ish.

When I passed by there again on the way to lunch (with camera phone at the ready), they were gone. In their place were signs saying "50/50 for 3". Now, I suppose they meant half-off rent for three months, but if you consider the two bikini girls that were there, perhaps they were talking about some kind of menage-a-trois thing. Hey, IT'S POSSIBLE.

At lunch, at Bear Rock Cafe, the guy who served me my Fireside Jerk Chicken sandwich was Unusually Friendly. Now, today I had chosen to wear my tight jeans and one of my cool fitted shirts, so I guess was looking pretty good. I didn't intend to attract the attention of guys, though. If I wanted that, I would have worn a construction vest. It later occurred to me that perhaps "Fireside Jerk Chicken" was some kind of gay code phrase. (Boy, I can't wait to see what kind of Google hits I get for this article.)

I snacked on Cheetos in the afternoon. By the way, chopsticks are the ideal instrument for eating Cheetos. If you haven't yet discovered the joy of eating Cheetos without getting orange fingers, I highly recommend it. Alas, I had no chopsticks at work. In an attempt to avoid getting all nacho-cheesy, I just put my whole face in the bag, stuck my tongue out, and tried to draw one Cheeto at a time with my tongue. But then I was suddenly self-conscious about looking like a horse with a feeding bag, so I stopped. The "horse" look generally does not attract the ladies, except perhaps in porn movies.

The bikini girls were still not at the apartment complex when I drove home from work. I contemplated whether I would have been bold enough to pull over and say hello to them, if they had been there. I'm guessing I would have chickened out. There's another joke to be made here about Fireside Jerk chicken and what my evening activities would have been, but I'm not going to go there.

This article is cheesy enough as it is.

Permalink 2 Comment

Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha, life

Comments

Comment #1 from Nicholas (Guest)
2005 Apr 22 - 12:56 pm : #

I love eating popcorn like that. It is normally pretty dry and will stick to your tongue.

Comment #2 from Scott H (Guest)
2005 Apr 23 - 10:06 am : #

If nothing else in life goes right for me, at least I know I have Chopsticks and Cheetos as a legacy.

Comments are closed for this post.

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