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Ken Needs a Hug and Some New Windchimes
Friday, 2005 October 14 - 8:02 am
A company cookbook, a sport I could really enjoy, and a list of things I need.

Just some fun stuff I found from strolling around the Internets.

First, if you haven't seen this company cookbook over on amalah, you MUST go take a look. Oh man, it had me rolling. Me and five billion other people who found it via Dave Barry's blog.

Second, apparently there's an annual underpants run in Hawaii. And it's not the usual sort of run that might happen in your underpants. People go running wearing nothing but underpants, partly to make fun of the Speedo-clad Germans in town. Coincidentally, an inmate in Nebraska attempted to escape from a hospital wearing only her bra and panties. Maybe she was trying to join the run.

Finally, I saw this over on Meghan's blog... you type in "<your-name> needs" in Google and see what comes up. Here's my list:

- ken needs long blonde hair
- ken needs a barbie
- ken needs phentermine
- ken needs everybody's prayers and support at this time
- ken needs to buy that Bible version that features the dancing clowns and the pop-up pictures
- ken needs help
- ken needs a hug and some new windchimes
- ken needs a cleaning lady
- ken needs judges to participate in the Central Regional Science Fair
- ken needs to follow up with SMETE
- ken needs some good arms like blaine
- ken needs me to be there for karen
- ken needs 7O and P5 on CW
- ken needs either a sign language interpreter, a communication support worker or a note-taker.
- ken needs your photos!
- ken needs a pedestal

Fantastic.
Permalink  10 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: bloggerscommentaryfunnyhaha

Comments

Comment #1 from Noelle (Guest)
2005 Oct 14 - 9:39 am : #
That company cookbook is nothing compaired to the hilarity of the Gallery of Regrettable Food http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/index.html
Comment #2 from LizD (Guest)
2005 Oct 14 - 1:33 pm : #
But Ken, if that underpants run was in San Francisco, the underpants would surely be on someone's head, not covering their 'parts.'
Comment #3 from pinky (Guest)
2005 Oct 14 - 1:33 pm : #
pinky needs a prayer
pinky needs extra work
pinky needs a good home
pinky needs to play a note
pinky needs to awaken her passions
pinky needs to come clean

(although the 2nd to last would seem to lead naturally to the last)
Comment #4 from LizD (Guest)
2005 Oct 14 - 1:38 pm : #
oh dear...

Liz needs a man
Liz needs protection (see above)
Liz needs a catchy slogan
Liz needs one more taste of her oozing pastry (eeeww!)
Liz needs to put a lid on it
Liz needs to be laundered (??)
Liz needs to be loved
Liz needs to satisfy... herself

yikes!
Comment #5 from Donna (Guest)
2005 Oct 14 - 2:58 pm : #
Mostly I needed prayers and help but also:

Donna needs a calm, cat-free, dog-free, small-child free home where she can spend
her twilight years in a peaceful and caring environment.

Donna needs to find a boyfriend so her acidic mother Flo won't think she is gay, celibate or repellant to men.
Comment #6 from Bake Town (Guest)
2005 Oct 14 - 3:32 pm : #
It didn't work wiht my name. What gives?
Comment #7 from Cori (Guest)
2005 Oct 14 - 4:40 pm : #
With peers, Cori needs instruction, modeling, and reinforcement regarding appropriate personal boundaries and social behavior norms.
CORI needs to be fixed.
Gloss uses Dfi,t (number of documents in node i with term t) and SumWi, sum of the local weights for term t at node i) while Cori needs only Dfi,t.
CORI needs to strategize.
Cori needs to eat 1 banana for each mile she travels.
yep, Cori needs a good smackin'.
The Board of CORI reserves the right to make changes to these policies in the cases where CORI needs to improve adherence to legislation,
Cori needs your help to win this major international online competition, she cannot do this without you.
Comment #8 from Timothy Ross (Guest)
2005 Oct 15 - 6:10 pm : #
First hit:

Tim needs your help. Will sell wife for food

The second hit was a blog where another tim was playing this same game
and listing his results.
Comment #9 from The Darkness (Guest)
2005 Oct 17 - 7:55 am : #
Paul Needs Free Music Downloads
Paul Needs (a) Welsh Musician and Songwriter
Paul needs a haircut!
Paul needs a sound system that is appropriate for the room
Paul needs your support!
Paul Needs Specs!
All Paul needs is Love
^-- Paul needs volunteers every day
^-- Paul needs more education

And of course:
Paul needs to go to the bathroom
Comment #10 from Tina (Guest)
2006 May 12 - 4:21 pm : #
Tina needs to be stripped naked, chained to the floor, and have her head dunked in ice cold water as she is raped from behind. :)

It even included the smiley face. Wow.

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