Real Kato Blog: Because There's No Such Thing As Obsessive-Compulsive Normality

I don't know how many people have been driven crazy by my neurosis.

I have to give credit to Javi for the headline of this article. As I recall, he coined this phrase after being asked why he folded all his paper money into perfect quarters with razor-sharp creases, before putting them in his money clip with all the bills oriented the same direction.

I think I have some mild form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. My primary indication of this is when it comes time to pay a restaurant check with a credit card. After I fill out the form, I have to check and re-check to make sure I've computed the tip correctly, that I've signed my name, and that I got my card back. Sometimes I do this five or six times.

When I compose an e-mail, I will usually re-read it to myself ten times to make sure the grammar, spelling, and cadence are all correct. And after the e-mail is sent, I'll check and re-check to see if I sent it to the right people.

Sometimes after parking my car, I'll get about fifty feet before I have to run back to check if I've locked it. And even after I see it, I'm still not sure.

The theory is that there's a switch in the brain that's supposed to trigger once you've accomplished some task, and in obsessive-compulsives, that switch fails to trigger. So people do things over and over, but still think they need to do it again. I can feel that compulsion in my head. I fight it, but the little voice is still there telling me, "Are you sure? Maybe you just think you turned off the oven."

Of course, I'm not obsessive-compulsive about useful things like cleaning the bathroom or paying my bills on time. It's only stupid stuff like whether I locked the back door. I mean, I live in White Bread Suburbia... I could leave the back door wide open with a big neon sign saying "ROB ME" and it wouldn't matter.

My only hope is that I don't annoy people with my weirdness. I try to be discreet when I sneak a peek at the restaurant bill again. I try not to waste people's time. But I'm sure that women whom I've dated have noticed this behavior... and I know of at least one woman who left me because of it. Her story will come in a future article, once I've healed myself enough to write it without bitterness.

There are treatments for this disorder, all of which I eschew, because I always believe I should be able to work things out for myself. But then again, maybe that's just another kind of obsessive-compulsiveness. Hmm.

A quick post-script here: thanks to those of you who had kind and supportive things to say about my upcoming dating adventures. Stay tuned for more news on that.

Permalink 2 Comment

Posted by Ken in: life

Comments

Comment #1 from Jen (Guest)
2005 Feb 25 - 12:42 am : #

Except for the credit card thing, I do the same things! I just seem to drive myself crazy, luckily. I'm sure that there I have many "quirks" that could balance out (if not subsume) the credit card issue.

I was always SO IMPRESSED that you could calculate your final grocery bill while shopping, including tax(!), and actually be correct when the items were all rung up. Not a small number of items, either! I saw this in action several times, and it never failed to amaze me.

This was probably another example, one, perhaps, that you didn't want shared, but that's what you get for having a public blog.

Hey, look, I even put an email address in. Just for you. Will I get any replies to my comment emailed to me, like in livejournal?

Comment #2 from Tim (Guest)
2005 Feb 25 - 3:02 pm : #

At least you don't walk around avoiding cracks like some people.

Comments are closed for this post.

Search This Site