Real Kato Blog: Wearin' Them Tight Pants

I've discovered a problem. Actually, a few problems.

As you know, I bought some jeans that are tighter than the jeans I used to wear. I have discovered three problems with this:

1. The jeans are a little too cozy with the family jewels.
2. I can't put anything in the pockets without making unsightly bulges.
3. I can't get that Kevin Meaney comedy routine from back in the early 90s out of my head. "What's the matter with you, wearin' them tight pants? That's not right! We're big pant people!"

Item 2 is the only one I think I might be able to solve.

Currently, I only carry a very small wallet, some cash in a money clip, and my keys. Even that's too much. I mean, I could put the stuff in the pockets, but after a while the pocket areas will be permanently deformed. I used to hate how I got wallet-shaped outlines in my back pockets, so I started carrying stuff in my front pockets; but then with a recent pair of jeans, the corner of my wallet eventually dug a hole through the front.

I don't want to carry a man-purse. I'm overly metrosexual as it is.

I am considering two possible solutions. One is to design something that will attach to my belt, kind of like a cell phone case but maybe with a little zippered pouch. It would have to be so tiny it was almost invisible; in no way can it resemble those hideous "I-am-a-grandpa-at-Disneyland" fanny packs.

The other solution would be something that straps to my right wrist.

In either case, I think I'd have to make it myself, because I don't know of anything out there that fits the bill (um, no pun intended). Fortunately it should be fairly easy to do, because I have a sewing machine and I know how to use it. (Yes, a sewing machine. I know what you're thinking, and just SHUT UP, okay?)

I'll let you know how it turns out.

Permalink 3 Comment

Posted by Ken in: life

Comments

Comment #1 from Crouching Hamster (Guest)
2005 Mar 8 - 11:55 pm : #

Oh dear.
Most of the guys I know put their wallets and keys and cell phone in their jacket pockets.

I'll keep you posted as to what they start doing in the spring.

Comment #2 from Javi (Guest)
2005 Mar 9 - 7:09 am : #

if it gives you any comfort, be happy that you actually bought tight jeans. i woke up one morning to find that all of my loose fitting jeans had mysteriously become tight jeans... damned elves!

Comment #3 from Nicholas (Guest)
2005 Mar 9 - 8:30 am : #

That is why I always buy loose fit jeans. I carry a huge amount of stuff in my pockets. The back pockets are for receipts to be thrown out later. Front pockets contain wallet, keys, cell phone (Kyocera 2235, largish), pen, Unpetroleum lip stuff and a pacifier. My healthy ass prevents me from putting my wallet in my back pocket.

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