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Year of Drunken Bliss
Monday, 2007 December 31 - 11:50 am
Our one-year anniversary was yesterday.

The year has been, well, nothing short of the best year of my life. I've been going back recategorizing all my old blog posts, and there was a definite theme throughout 2005: me struggling to accept being happy as a single person, while desperately trying to find validation in the form of a girlfriend.

In the end, one led to the other.

I remember folks giving me vague advice like "be yourself" and "don't worry about it" when I would fret about dating. Or they'd say "you'll only find it once you stop looking". I dismissed that kind of advice as pablum at the time, but now I know what they were trying to say: women can smell desperation.

Single dudes, here's the lesson: If you're absolutely obsessed with finding a girlfriend, women will see it, and they'll be scared of you. On the other hand, if you've got a full and happy life, and you exude confidence in your style and personality, then it's just a matter of time before you meet someone.

Amy and I met a little more than two years ago. I was wearing one of my favorite shirts. I'd been running most of the summer so I was in pretty good shape. We met at a trendy bar downtown. I was drinking a martini. Contrast this to Internet Date #00001, when I met my date at a suburban coffee shop wearing white tennis shoes and a golf shirt that was two sizes too big. A lot about me has changed in the last ten years.

It was two months before we professed to being in love. (Note: I no longer suck at pretending.) About five months after that, we were engaged. And one year and one day ago, we were married. (Uh, we're still working on sending out thank-you cards. Erp.)

Most days, we have at least one belly-busting laugh about something. We almost never argue. We spend about an hour or so each day telling each other "I love you" and "I'M the lucky one". We hold hands most of the time when we're together. You'd think we had just started dating or something.

I can't say everything has been easy... acquiring an 11-year-old stepson has been a challenge at times, and throughout various points in the year, money has been a little tight. We struggle to keep the house clean. But we work through it, together; we're on the same side of the battle, not opposite sides, and I think that's the key.

When I see other married couples now, I watch how they interact. If they seem to be competing with each other about who is getting the most (in terms of privileges, possessions, or free time), I think to myself, "that's an unfortunate marriage". But if they compete as to who can give the most to the other person, I think, "perhaps they're as lucky as we are".

Thank you, Amy, for the best two years, four months, and fourteen days of my life.
Permalink  2 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: datinglife

Comments

Comment #1 from MonoCerdo (monocerdo)
2007 Dec 31 - 1:38 pm : #
Ken, that was beautiful and just what I needed to read after spending hours upon hours in airports, hating everything, man and machine alike. Congratulations to the lucky couple.
Comment #2 from Brett (Guest)
2008 Jan 1 - 2:59 pm : #
'Desperation' is a stinky perfume. I got it for Christmas last year, wore it on pretty thick for a couple of months. I don't recommend it to friends.

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