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Dating Update: I Just Can't Get Enough
Monday, 2005 August 22 - 10:08 pm
Okay, how long will it be before you get sick of hearing about The WHB?

I've only been out with The WHB twice. We send instant-messages back and forth all day, though, and MY GOD, this girl is funny. (Funny ha-ha, not funny-strange.) I get to laugh all day long. I think laughter is a great way to start a relationship.

Even though we've been out twice, my brain is starting to raise all the relationship-y questions that always come at this stage. (Stupid brain... why can't you just shut up?) Questions like: where is this going? what does this mean? what does she want? how long should I wait before touching her boob?

My biggest concern is that I don't repeat any past mistakes. I'm really starting to like this girl, and like I said before, I want to make sure I do this right. So that means keeping the right balance between this relationship and my other friendships, the right balance between being interested and being smothering, and the right balance between liking and being liked. It's all about balance. If you've ever seen me attempt yoga, you'll know that I have a very bad sense of balance. But I'm trying to get better.

I've realized something recently: I've never documented the beginning of a relationship in this blog. That indicates that (a) I've had a very long drought since my last relationship, and (b) that I wasn't as open about this kind of stuff before as I am now. Heck, even a lot of my closest friends don't know about half the relationships I've had. I used to be very secretive about dating. I'm not entirely sure why, except maybe that I was embarrassed that I was so bad at it.

I'm trying to get better.

I went out with Queen Bee tonight, and she had some good advice for me. She suggested that I make sure to spend time with the WHB in a variety of different settings, so that we know what life will be like when it's not all full of martinis and mojitos. That seems like a good idea. What say, you, Internets? What's the right way to start a relationship without suffering from flame-out? I of course have my own theories, which will eventually go into my book about dating... but I'm curious to hear all of yours.
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Posted by Ken in: datinglife


Comment #1 from Ellen (Guest)
2005 Aug 22 - 11:13 pm : #
Ok Ken...I *have* to say it...IMHO the right way to start a relationship without suffering flame-out is to include as much sex as possible! See, flame-out is sure to is inevitable. It should be worded as how to survive it? There are really only two ways to get through it: Sex, and the other way--if you can become great friends before it happens...But this can backfire and you may just end up being only a "friend"...Of course, you can try for both at the same time and get through it unscathed! Hopefully your WHB doesn't get mad at me for suggesting this! -Ellen
Comment #2 from Ken (realkato)
2005 Aug 22 - 11:29 pm : #
Ellen, you a truly a good friend. ;)
Comment #3 from Phil (Guest)
2005 Aug 23 - 12:25 am : #
K -- just curious. Do you ever think of your dates with the word "women" instead of "girls"? Does it make a diff?

I ask because it sometimes sounds like you're surprised when the person you're going out with has lots of great qualities you would enjoy being around for a long time. I like to think that many "women" (i.e., adult peers of good people such as yourself) have many such qualities. Meanwhile, I think of "girls" as the females who haven't yet become women. And of course, I think of you as someone who would date (by these definitions, anyway), women rather than girls.

Oh, and please pardon my PC-ramblifications! It's late. I'm tired. But I think I may be sniffing a lead...
Comment #4 from Ken (realkato)
2005 Aug 23 - 12:38 am : #
Bleah. Are you serious?
Comment #5 from Phil (Guest)
2005 Aug 23 - 1:16 am : #
Serious for me, at least. I've noticed a drift in how I've been dealing with females, and part of this thinking (and commenting on your blog) clearly follows from my own wrestlings. But as always -- take what you like and never mind the not!
Comment #6 from John C (Guest)
2005 Aug 23 - 8:00 am : #
Here is the part you should worry about:
"My biggest concern is that I don't repeat any past mistakes."
I understand the concern (and i hate to use a sports analogy here), but that sounds like you are more concerned with losing her than with enjoying yourself.
Comment #7 from Ken (realkato)
2005 Aug 23 - 10:44 am : #
John, I've tried the "just have fun" way, and I'm 0-28. I think I need a new offensive coordinator.

So far, Ellen wins for "best advice".

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