Real Kato Blog: Poop Goes In The Potty

Not in the toast, not in the eggs.

Just what is the deal with people and public toilets, anyway?

I cannot stand when I open up a stall and I see a big pile of poo and toilet paper left in the bowl. (Mr. Hankey?) I mean, part of your responsibility when pooping is to MAKE SURE that the poop is flushed when you're finished. It's your poopsponsibility. Sometimes it requires a double-flush, but JUST DO IT, for chrissakes.

Next: if you are having a particularly lengthy pooping session, a courtesy flush to clear the air sure would be nice. Think of the bathroom as a gas chamber, the toilet as a pail of sulfuric acid, and your poop as the sodium cyanide. When that poop hits, we only have minutes before we die of hypoxia.

Final issue: YOUR EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA. I know shit happens. But clean up after yourself, PLEASE. If any bits of poo don't make it into the bowl on the first try, you need to do something about it. And that "something" involves lots of toilet paper, and wiping so hard that you could resurface asphalt.

I have to wonder: do people do this at home? Do they leave their own toilets filthy and poop-ridden? And then, do they not wash their hands before going off, say, to make hamburger patties?

I can think of three co-workers whom I would NOT manning the grill at the next company cookout.

Permalink 5 Comment

Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha

Comments

Comment #1 from Nicholas E (Guest)
2005 Jul 12 - 8:27 am : #

Ah, another poop post.

I used to wonder why girls would complain about messy toliet seats in the girls room. I mean, they don't really have to aim. Then I was told about hovering.

While leaving the office bathroom I have met coworkers going in, and warned them off.

Comment #2 from Sonja (Guest)
2005 Jul 12 - 9:21 am : #

Ewwwwww.

And yeah, that hover thing can get gross.

Comment #3 from Cori (Guest)
2005 Jul 12 - 11:40 am : #

Canadians don't hover (at least not in the mass quantities that they do in Maryland). Every time I go into a public washroom in Canada, I am so glad not to be in Maryland anymore, where every public washroom was disgusting because of this bizarre fear of diseased toilet seats. Do they really believe that people's asses are covered in disease?

Comment #4 from Jenn (Guest)
2005 Jul 12 - 7:30 pm : #

I read in a magazine last month that a cell phone can have more bacteria than a toilet seat. Yum!

Comment #5 from Crouching Hamster (Guest)
2005 Jul 13 - 5:07 pm : #

Can you give us a poop dictionary, please? I think you've coined quite a few new words in the past years or so.

Comments are closed for this post.

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