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True Dating Stories
Tuesday, 2005 July 12 - 11:54 pm
From 1996.

OTR Girlfriend (shaking me awake): Ken?

Me (groggily): Uh?

OTR Girlfriend: I need tampons.

Me: Urrm.

OTR Girlfriend: Can you go to the store and get me some?

Me: What the f Of course I will, sweetie.

OTR Girlfriend: Just get my usual kind.

Me: Uh huh.

Twenty minutes later, I am at the drug store, with twelve different boxes of tampons in my hands, trying to figure out what the difference is between them. It occurs to me that I don't even know what brand she uses. And what is Super? or Super Plus? or Ultra? Is that like biggie-sizing at Wendy's? And apparently, just like at the supermarket, you have to choose between paper and plastic.

I guess I must have slept through this particular class at Boyfriend School.

Back at home:

OTR Girlfriend: What's this?

Me: What?

OTR Girlfriend: These aren't my tampons. I'm going to leak all over creation.

Me: Um, ha ha ha, you say that as if it were a BAD thing.

OTR Girlfriend: (stony silence)

Twenty minutes later, I am at the drug store again. With a note in my hand. I hand the note to the store clerk and she finds the tampons that I'm supposed to get. The clerk is not the least bit sympathetic... in fact, she seems a bit disgusted with me.

Back at home:

OTR Girlfriend: What's wrong? Were you embarrassed to get these for me?

Me: Why would I be embarrassed? It's like that comedian said... this proves that I have a woman. It's not like I'm going to use these on myself. Ha ha ha.

OTR Girlfriend: What comedian?

Me: Umm...

OTR Girlfriend: You can't remember anything, can you?

We broke up less than 28 days later.
Permalink  1 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: datinglife

Comments

Comment #1 from Crouching Hamster (Guest)
2005 Jul 13 - 5:17 pm : #
Oh, man. I think you should get a special award for this.

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