Real Kato Blog: Will This Get Me Dooced?

Can't... help... blogging about... coworkers....

My workplace is a living, breathing version of "What Not to Wear".

You have to understand, I work with a bunch of engineers. The typical engineer uniform is: golf shirt, jeans, and white tennis shoes, none of which fit properly. I know this because I wore this uniform for YEARS and no one told me it was a bad thing. YEARS, I tell you.

The guys who don't wear the uniform, they dress casually. In the summer, a lot of guys wear shorts to the office. Whenever it's ninety degrees out, and we run into a woman who has to wear pantyhose or long rayon slacks to work, they immediately realize THEY HATE ENGINEERS.

There are very few mirrors in our office building. Coincidence?

I think men are at somewhat of a disadvantage when it comes to clothing, because we don't exchange clothes with each other, so our selection is limited. Women seem to have no problem with it: they'll exchange skirts, blouses, shoes, even sometimes bras. There's even a store where women specifically go to trade in clothes. Men would never do this. Any article of men's clothing that comes within eight inches of the genital area can never be worn by another man. Same goes for any article of clothing that has ever absorbed any sweat. The explanation for this phenomenon? Men, by and large, are DISGUSTING.

It would make for a funny reality TV show if men were forced to exchange underpants with each other. We'd call it "Trading Undies", or perhaps, "While You Were Out." (Oh wait, I guess that one's taken already.) Frankly, I think most guys would rather eat bugs.

The worst thing that happens at work is when the company gives out free t-shirts or golf shirts. For several months afterwards, every day you see about a dozen people wearing their free shirt. Once we had a company outing to Jillian's (a bar/video arcade/pool hall) and the company handed out free t-shirts... when we got there, it looked like we had just gotten off the short bus and we were on our way to the Special Olympics.

I didn't wear my free shirt, and I was chastised for not showing company spirit. But you know, sometimes you gotta take a stand.

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Posted by Ken in: funnyhaha

Comments

Comment #1 from Phil (Guest)
2005 Jul 27 - 12:20 am : #

Not so true for all guys -- my best friend gives me hand-me-up clothes ("up" because they're almost always nicer than what I already have), and I sometimes do the same for him -- pants, t-shirts, and recently a pair of wicking underwear. But we've never traded bras.