Real Kato Blog: Miss Anorexia 2005

Wow, they still broadcast the Miss Universe Pageant? and the Rigellians haven't complained about a fix?

I just turned off the "Miss Universe Pageant", because AGAIN my favorite, Miss Uranus, was not in the finals, despite having the best ass.

I find it odd that this anachronism, this tribute to a patriarchal society, is still around. We still judge women by their legginess and their boobiness. Oddly enough, though, it's girls that are most interested in these beauty pageants, not men. Guys like me, we just watch the swimsuit competition, and we definitely don't hang around to listen to the inane interview questions. (I found it interesting that an advertisement for K-Y Warming Gel came on smack in the middle of the swimsuit competition. Huh.)

Then again, boys are the ones who mostly watch sports, and that's kind of a pageant for men. We put men up against other men and we judge them on how well they can throw balls. That just shows what our values are: women, we want you to have impossibly skinny bodies with impossibly large boobs and impossibly long legs. Men, we want you to be impossibly proficient at putting balls into holes.

That's all.

I did learn one thing tonight: ladies, if you want to look the part of a pageant girl, there's a certain way you're supposed to WALK. Your right foot should land to the left of your left foot, and vice versa, so you're basically always crossing your legs as you walk. That seems to be much sexier than the ol' bow-legged waddle. Give it a shot; I'm sure you'll have many more guys looking at your ass if you do this. (Miss Uranus, you don't have to bother with this.)

Permalink 4 Comment

Posted by Ken in: commentary

Comments

Comment #1 from olafandyjon (Guest)
2005 May 31 - 8:44 am : #

Ha! A KY Jelly commercial right then? That's not a coincidence.

Comment #2 from Melinda (Guest)
2005 May 31 - 9:05 am : #

That crossover walking technique is not easy :) You give it a shot. Plus, they have to do it in high heels. Ah, the madness of it all.