Real Kato Blog: Awwww

Today's minor tragedies.

My poor poor baby, Michelle Wie, did not make the cut at the John Deere Classic today. After nine holes in her second round, she was at four under par and well on her way to making history, by being the first woman in sixty years to make the cut on the PGA tour. But a double bogey and a bogey in her last four holes dropped her to one under par, and she missed the cut by two agonizing strokes.

I can only imagine her disappointment. Do you remember being fifteen, when every event seemed momentous, and the slightest misfortune seemed like the end of the world? Well, imagine an occasion where the eyes of the world are on you, you're on the verge of a tremendous accomplishment, and you have to watch it slip away at the very end. It's just heartbreaking.

But she's resilient. She plays at the men's U.S. Amateur Public Links tournament next week. Go Michelle! You can do it!

Apparently sheep don't have it so good. 1500 sheep leapt off a cliff in Turkey today. 450 of them died, and more would have if their fall had not been cushioned by the hundreds of dead sheep that formed a pile beneath them. I think that would be rather a comic sight... if it weren't so gruesome.

My theory is that the sheep were herded off the cliff by lemmings, who were looking to rid themselves of their bad reputation.

One of the surviving sheep, when interviewed, said, "Well, all the other sheep were doing it, and I didn't want to run the risk of being the only one not to do it. I mean, when it comes to something like that, better to be wrong with everyone else than to be right by yourself. That's also why I use Microsoft Windows, and why I shop at Wal-Mart. Baaaa."

A Tennessee couple was arrested for hiring a stripper for their son's sixteenth birthday. That just goes to show you, no good deed goes unpunished. But come to think of it, a Tennessee couple hiring a stripper doesn't seem particularly newsworthy... it's probably as commonplace as a guy from Boston getting drunk at a party. Oh, I guess you can get arrested for that too.

Just when you thought it was safe, melons are in the news again. Those damn melons.

Permalink