Real Kato Blog: My Neuroses Revealed

But meh, you've probably already figured out this stuff about me.

Yesterday at work, I had to give a presentation in front of six people from another company. I'd been somewhat nervous about it... giving presentations is not exactly my favorite activity, even in front of a small audience.

When I walked in the room, I was immediately put at ease. Why? Because one of the six people was a woman.

Before you jump to any conclusions: no, I didn't think about any romantic possibilities with this woman. I'm firmly attached to Amy right now. But it occurred to me that just the presence of a woman in any group situation makes me feel more relaxed. I'm simply more comfortable around women than I am around men. Most time, if I'm in a group of only men, I can sense the alpha-male jockeying that goes on, and I just don't like playing that game. Having a woman around gives me someone I can relate to, in a non-competitive manner.

I guess that makes me a "ladies' man", not a "man's man". That's fine. I don't know why one would want to be called a "man's man", anyway; it makes me think of guys with mustaches, wearing chaps. NTTAWWT.

I went out yesterday evening with Amy and a bunch of her friends. Just as most of my friends are women, most of Amy's friends are men. (I think that reflects something complementary about our personalities.) Knowing this, I'd been a little nervous about meeting all of them, just like I'd been nervous about my presentation. But my friend Anna came along, and there was another woman in the group, and the guys were all friendly and fun and cool. So we all had a grand old time, and hey, maybe I'll actually make some guy friends out of all of this. Bonus!

Now, reflecting on these two parts of my day, I'm reminded that I have a tendency to worry about things that don't end up happening. It's part of my OCD, I think. I picture worst-case scenarios in my head. I try not to let this aspect of my personality show too much, because I know it can be irritating to be a worry-wart. But I don't banish this tendency altogether, because it does protect me from doing a lot of stupid things... like missing airline flights, or being unprepared for presentations, or making an ass of myself in front of my girlfriend's posse.

Hopefully.

Permalink 2 Comment

Posted by Ken in: life

Comments

Comment #1 from Phil (Guest)
2005 Sep 1 - 10:22 pm : #

Wholly unrelated -- did I see you driving down 147 yesterday or the day before? Bronze-ish car with a couple of bumper stickers on the back...

Comment #2 from Ken (realkato)
2005 Sep 2 - 7:34 am : #

Bronze-ish car? Wasn't me.

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