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Internet Date #00013
Friday, 2005 June 24 - 1:05 am
More long-lost true stories of my Internet dating experiences. This one might be more funny-strange than funny ha-ha.

2002.

Around this time, Internet dating was pretty big. Lots of people were doing it, and they weren't really embarrassed by it.

Some women started to figure out that on-line dating was a golden ticket to some nice free dinners. They proudly called themselves "dinner whores", and they eagerly swapped stories of their latest conquests.

When I met Mimi (not her real name), the first thing I noticed was: this girl has a TINY TINY HEAD. Really, it was like the size of a grapefruit. Okay, maybe a large grapefruit. But it was all I could do to keep from trying to put her entire head in my mouth.

Otherwise, she was an astonishingly pretty girl. Even though my code-name for her became "Small-Head Mimi", I still liked her quite a bit. But she was a little bit odd sometimes. On one of our early dates, we went to Nana's, a relatively upscale restaurant in Durham. I asked her what kind of wine she wanted, and she wasn't sure. I suggested that maybe we should have champagne. She replied, "Champagne? That's the one with the bubbles, right?" I KID YOU NOT.

Yes, Little Melon, that would be the one with the bubbles.

In retrospect, I've come to realize that ordering champagne on an early date is a little weird. It's not as if you're celebrating anything, except perhaps the fact that your date didn't turn out to be running-away-screaming ugly.

She said she was eager to try a bunch of restaurants in the area. So we went to a couple of other nice places, like Café Parizade. I picked up the check each time. After our third fancy dinner out, I leaned in for a kiss. She turned stiff as a board, she giggled a little nervously, and she backed away. I cringed, and I felt about two inches tall. Then the words "dinner whore" starting ringing through my head.

When we emailed each other later, she revealed that she didn't really want to be more than "friends". I said okay, but then maybe we should split the checks for any future dinners out.

We never went out again.
Permalink  3 Comment   Bookmark and Share
Posted by Ken in: datinglife

Comments

Comment #1 from Crouching Hamster (Guest)
2005 Jun 24 - 2:51 am : #
Busted!
Comment #2 from Sonja (Guest)
2005 Jun 24 - 9:46 am : #
Ha! Too funny. :-)
Comment #3 from Jenn (Guest)
2005 Jun 25 - 1:08 am : #
You know...I'm pretty bad with wines. I keep tasting them, thinking that I just need to try new ones, and then I hate them all. But even I know that champagne is the one with the bubbles. Come to think of it, I do like some champagnes, so I am either very exclusive or very low-brow. Take your pick.

Small Head Mimi, that cracks me up.

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